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About Deviant just an illusionMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
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I am lost, Let me drift
Hands slipping free
I try to release my hold on the world…
Reluctantly I am drawn back.
Dissolving into the acidic existence that is I.
Slowly melting from existence.
Diseased and rotting from the inside out I give up.
Quietly slipping back into the darkened corner.
Life exists around me.
Trying to pull me back into the light.
Smokey thoughts bang around in the clutter of my mind.
Beacons hopelessly  awaiting my return to light.
The patient angels tread heavy on my memory caressing my soul in cradled divinity.
Mechanically tethered I continue to give way.
Less human by the moment.
The slow press of blood inside my veins seems to sing soft and low.
Songs that bring me closer.
Wilting  against a world that thrives I step from the edge.
Fade into the darkened night.
Waiting quietly for the end I have time…
Reviewing all my shortcomings
I didn't love strongly enough
I didn't say what should have been said.
I hid away in the dark.
Each thing
:iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 1 2
Chasing demons
She walked the side streets listening to the click of her heels against the cobblestone.
Chasing demons and ghosts around every corner and looking ahead to the slightest glimpse or flash.
A breath of wind whispered against her cheek.
A smile falling below  the sparkle of her eyes as she walked.
A warm drink, a cold night.
Lights on the  water shimmering in a dance.
A trick of the eyes.
It is a long night.
:iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 3 5
Something Wicked thisway comes
The Darkness Swallowed me whole and I Screamed out...
The noise seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at once.
Inside rushing with a push of blood and and adrenaline.
The voices talking around me... Quiet but hurried.
My Demons are real... they chase me where I live.
Hunt me in my dreams.
All that is real falls away under the medicinally sterile beep.
Locked in a prison.
The dragons circle outside the walls, Wings beating the air in a monstrous display of patience.
Chasing away the iridescent vision of angels in waiting.
Breathing deep into me they drag the humanity out of me a piece at a time.
Rending flesh from the brittle soul tangled in among it.
Just a trapped animal.
Left with only the devices invented by a mind in purgatory.
Soft songs. Whispered in among the darkened clouds.
Digging through the isolation to display the path.
Hidden among thoughts of inadequacy and failure.
The way of angels and saints.
Battered into the collapse that was waiting on t
:iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 3 18
Needs Supervision Stamp by Cha0sM0nkey Needs Supervision Stamp :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 20 32 Skittles Stamp Ver 02 by Cha0sM0nkey Skittles Stamp Ver 02 :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 145 31 DesireComplex's Skittles by Cha0sM0nkey DesireComplex's Skittles :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 199 39 NieBakura's Effin Green Stamp by Cha0sM0nkey
Mature content
NieBakura's Effin Green Stamp :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 298 99
dA V5 Obsessed by Cha0sM0nkey dA V5 Obsessed :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 3 2 dA V5 Love by Cha0sM0nkey dA V5 Love :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 6 3 Bleach Stamp 01 by Cha0sM0nkey Bleach Stamp 01 :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 482 53 Bleach Stamp 02 by Cha0sM0nkey Bleach Stamp 02 :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 74 10 DAv5 Stamp by Cha0sM0nkey DAv5 Stamp :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 1 25 DAv5 Angled Stamp by Cha0sM0nkey DAv5 Angled Stamp :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 8 9 Qwitcher Bitchin' by Cha0sM0nkey Qwitcher Bitchin' :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 42 39 Ignore Stamp v2 by Cha0sM0nkey Ignore Stamp v2 :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 646 44 I Hate Stamps by Cha0sM0nkey I Hate Stamps :iconcha0sm0nkey:Cha0sM0nkey 7 11


indecision by estellamestella indecision :iconestellamestella:estellamestella 685 54 Urban Grundge by spirit-of-kina Urban Grundge :iconspirit-of-kina:spirit-of-kina 4 1 Practice by kezbirdie Practice :iconkezbirdie:kezbirdie 4 5 A child of Colour by kezbirdie A child of Colour :iconkezbirdie:kezbirdie 14 35 Admire: Jessie by kezbirdie Admire: Jessie :iconkezbirdie:kezbirdie 3 22 Admire: Kat by kezbirdie Admire: Kat :iconkezbirdie:kezbirdie 7 108 Little Red Riding Hood -COLOR- by JerryCai Little Red Riding Hood -COLOR- :iconjerrycai:JerryCai 35,744 1,571 Breathe the pressure by DIMOshok Breathe the pressure :icondimoshok:DIMOshok 36 10 Chaos_Monkey by ToonsInACan Chaos_Monkey :icontoonsinacan:ToonsInACan 2 21 Eden by nosredna1313 Eden :iconnosredna1313:nosredna1313 703 150 Your Own deviantLICENSE by stixman Your Own deviantLICENSE :iconstixman:stixman 6,404 1,926



just an illusion
United States
DA is... different.

Wanted to say hello to those that are still here.

I am alive.
not sure I have much that the old me would brag about but I am still THAT is something right?

That is all for now.

Have to travel tomorrow. The circus is looking for Munkys Think I may join up.

Shout-outs & Love going out to my Tolerant regulars.

currently playing:…
  • Listening to: background beeps and blips, sick puppies & fin
  • Reading: old poetry and love scribbles
  • Watching: DA pass me by
  • Playing: out the sad theatrics that is exisitence
  • Eating: handfulls O'meds that make my mind think right
  • Drinking: too much of not enough


Add a Comment:
Keelay Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2015  Student General Artist
We've known each other for 10 years. Isn't that amazing?
kezbirdie Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2014   General Artist
:glomp: muuuuunnnkkkkyyyy I need someone to glomp!!!
Keelay Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Student General Artist
You can come back any day now.
Just Sayin'
kezbirdie Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014   General Artist
Keelay Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Student General Artist
JadeTheKittyCat Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013
Hello? :p
Keelay Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Student General Artist
Where are you?
Keelay Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Student General Artist
Happy New Year
Keelay Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Student General Artist
It's almost Christmas. Hope that means we'll get to see you long enough to wish you a merry one.
frag1le Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes, all of the below.
Add a Comment: